Hanky Panky Spanky
by Kookaburra
Summary: Bumblebee gets an earful of Ron and Judy while monitoring the Witwicky residence. BDSM, FemDom, spanking. Ron/Judy Witwicky. Originally written for the TF Kink meme.


**Title:** Hanky Panky Spanky  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Judy Witwicky/Ron Witwicky, Bumblebee  
><strong>Universe:<strong> Bayverse  
><strong>Summary:<strong> This was originally posted on the kink meme here.

Original Prompt:

2007-Movie-verse:  
>Bumblebee sitting in the Witwicky parking lot, monitoring the house, and getting a earful of Ron and Judy.<br>Then he comments on it, with Sam as his audience.

**Warnings/Enticements:** FemDom BDSM. Bumblebee being way more innocent than anyone with internet access could reasonably be.

**Notes:** So, I originally posted this over a two years ago in the tf2007 anonymous kink meme. Since then I've attempted to edit and improve it, telling myself I'll get it right before posting it anywhere unanon. Obviously that's not going to happen, so here 'tis. Enjoy.

* * *

><p>Bumblebee basked in the warm Southern California sunshine, simply enjoying not having any responsibilities other than sitting in the Witwicky's driveway, guarding what Ironhide had started calling his "foster family". Sam had gone off on a bike ride with Miles. Bumblebee felt a pang of guilt- with all of the excitement surrounding the Autobots, Sam had been neglecting his human friends. So when Miles had called up and asked if Sam was available, 'Bee had practically insisted he accept, even though it would mean leaving the Camaro behind.<p>

Still, Bumblebee was far from lonely. He was enjoying watching Mr. and Mrs. Witwicky puttering around the garden, Mojo romping around their heels. Mrs. Witwicky certainly had an eye for color, and the garden was very pleasing to his optic sensors. Additionally, the hydrocarbon chains the blooming plants gave off stimulated his intake filter chemoreceptors in an unusual, but pleasant way.

As Mrs. Witwicky walked by, carrying a basket of clippings to the compost bin, Bumblebee said, "Your garden looks very nice, Mrs. Witwicky." He had found that Sam's parents tended to think he was recharging if he was in vehicle mode, and wouldn't initiate a conversation.

"Oh! Thank you, Bumblebee," Judy said, startling for a moment at the voice emanating from the seemingly inert automobile. "That's nice of you to say."

"I'm not just being nice. The culturing of botanical organisms for exclusively aesthetic value is a very rare practice in the explored galaxy. And yours is one of the most pleasing I've experienced." Bumblebee could see that beneath her sun hat, Mrs. Witwicky was turning red. What curious ways these humans had of expressing their emotions!

"You flatterer," Mrs. Witwicky teased. "But really, thank you. It's good to know that my little hobby is appreciated. By the way, did Sam tell you when he would be back?"

"Not really, but he said something about having dinner in the city, so I'd expect it will be several hours, at least."

"Hmmm…" Judy had a considering look on her face. "Well, thanks for letting me know. Whew, it's hot out here. I think I'll go in for awhile." She took her leave, and called Ron in for some coolant that consisted of acidic juice from plant reproductive organs and copious amounts of dextrose. Bumblebee had taken to scanning all food the Witwickys ate, in case the Deceptions (or anyone else) tried to harm them that way.

Bumblebee drifted into a light recharge, letting his audio sensors automatically scan the low tones of conversation from the house. Mojo was sleeping in his dog house, and the low drone of honey bees going about their business in the flower bed contributed to a very peaceful afternoon scene. Bumblebee's programming shifted deeper into a recharge cycle, though of course his scanners automatically performed sweeps of the house and surrounding property every so often.

Snippets of sentences filtered into his processor from the house during these scans.

"…very unhappy…"

"…sorry, Mistress, please have…"

"…be punished…"

_Wait, what?_ Bumblebee's CPU caught the telltale words of a situation arising. His recharge- and heat- addled circuits struggled to respond, and his higher CPU functions slowly came online.

"Not good enough!"

Bumblebee had never heard Judy sound so _angry_, even when Sam had stayed out past his curfew. Then, suddenly, a loud slap; the sound of something striking delicate human flesh rang out. None of the humans outside seemed to notice it, but with all of his sensors trained on the house, it was deafening to Bumblebee. With rising concern, he scanned the house, and found the two humans in the master bedroom. What could have caused this sudden personality change in Sam's mother? Decepticon influence? An S7 experiment gone wrong? His alarm only increased when his resonance imaging brought back just what was going on in the bedroom. Ron Witwicky was handcuffed to the bed!

Bumblebee watched in horror as Judy drew back her arm. A flat, wooden hairbrush was clenched in her fist. The Autobot could hear faint whimpers from Ron, and then a pained yell as the hairbrush struck his exposed gluteal region.

"That should teach you to walk across my daffodils!" Judy yelled. Bumblebee reached a decision. This was in no way normal behavior, and something had to be done. But he didn't know how he should deal with it, so he did the only thing he could think of.

He called Mikaela.

"Hey, Bee, what's up?" Mikaela said as she answered her phone.

"Mikaela! I'm really worried that something terrible is going on with Sam's mother!"

"Judy?" Mikaela's voice was instantly filled with concern. "What's wrong? What's going on? I'm at the mall, I can be there in seven minutes."

"I think the Decepticons or someone else are influencing her behavior! But I haven't been able to find out how they're doing it. So far scans have revealed no unusual EM waves or psychotropic substances in their food-"

"Bumblebee, just calm down and tell me what's going on."

"I didn't see it, but I guess Mr. Witwicky walked across some of her flowers. She's really upset," Bumblebee said.

"Ok, she can be a little anal about her garden, what's weird about that? You've seen her upset before," Mikaela said, sounding more curious than concerned.

"She's hitting him!"

"_What?_"

"And she's handcuffed him to their bed!"

There was silence from Mikaela.

"Mikaela?" Bumblebee asked, wondering if they had been cut off.

"Um, I'm here." Mikaela's voice sounded funny; almost quivery and breathless. She must be very distressed about what's happening, decided Bumblebee.

"What should I do? Would it be appropriate to alert the authorities?" Bumblebee asked.

"No!" shouted Mikaela. "Um, no. Uh, I don't really think there's anything to be worried about. It's, uh, well it's definitely not normal, but it's not something to worry about."

"How can you say that, Mikaela! She could seriously injure Mr. Witwicky!"

"_Trust_ me, Bumblebee. It's OK. Just ignore it. Igottagobye."

The call cut off. Bumblebee rumbled in frustration. He scanned the master bedroom once more. _Oh, Primus, now she has a _whip_!_

Judy Witwicky, to Bumblebee's horror, grabbed a handful of Ron's hair, and twisted it around so the man was forced to roll over and expose his vulnerable ventral side. She then threw a leg over his abdomen, effectively pinning him to the bed.

"Oh, please! Mercy, Mistress!" It pained Bumblebee's spark to hear Ron sound so helpless. He quite liked Sam's father, and the thought of harm coming to him, especially from a source he should be able to trust with his life, was unbearable. It was all Bumblebee could to do keep from transforming then and there and reaching through the window to rescue Ron when he sensed Judy strike her husband forcefully across his face.

"Your begging and pleading are pitiful! Pathetic! Your mouth is good for only one thing!" Judy crawled up Ron's helpless form, until she was poised above his face. Then she grasped the headboard and lowered herself until she was undoubtedly smothering him. This was getting desperate. A Cybertronian could survive for quite awhile with no airflow through their internal combustion chamber, but humans could only do so for a few minutes! Judy was trying to kill Ron!

Bumblebee really didn't want to call Sam, especially when Sam was likely far away and couldn't come to his aid. It would only distress the already excitable teenager.

So he called Maggie Madsen.

"Hello?"

"Maggie! It's Bumblebee! I need your help."

"Hi, Bumblebee. What's up? Are you having trouble breaking that 'Con message we picked up? I have Glen right here, let me put you on speakerphone-" she started. The tell-tale click of a phone system came over Bumblebee's comm.

"No! I think something's happened to Mrs. Witwicky, but I don't know what to do about it!" Bumblebee said desperately.

"Oh, no! Are the Decepticons back? Or is it some skuzzy black helicopters government thing?" Glenn asked.

"I don't know, but she just started acting very strange. She completely over reacted to something Mr. Witwicky did, and then she began hitting him and restrained him to their bed! Now she's trying to suffocate him!"

There was another long silence. Bumblebee was getting frustrated with those.

"Um," And again with the verbal placeholders. "You say suffocating him, uh, how-" said Maggie.

"She's sitting on his face! He won't be able to breathe! Should I call an emergency line?" Bumblebee said desperately.

"Noooo," said Maggie hesitantly. "I don't think you should do anything. It's…really nothing to worry about. And why on earth did you call me?"

Bumblebee was a little hurt by her question. He did consider Maggie a friend. "Well, after Sam and Mikaela, you're the human I know the best, and have worked most closely with. I was hoping you could help."

"Bumblebee, I'm sorry, I know you just want to help, but _please_ just ignore this, and - wait, did you say after Mikaela? Did you call her first?" Maggie's voice became a bit shrill. Glenn began making odd, high pitched noises in the background. Bumblebee hoped this news wasn't upsetting his friend overmuch.

"Yes, but she told me to ignore it too! But then Mrs. Witwicky started sitting-" Bumblebee said frantically.

"Ohmygod. Ok, ok," Maggie tried to calm Bumblebee down. "This is just…it's just… say, didn't you learn our language from the internet?"

"I hardly see what that has to do with this, but yes," Bee answered.

"And…and when did you say you landed on Earth?" Maggie asked.

"In 2003. We're wasting time, Mr. Witwicky could be- Oh, wait, she's off of him now, but she's still got a whip!" Bumblebee said desperately. Why wasn't anyone taking the situation seriously?

"Um. Ok, don't tell me anything more about that. It really isn't something to be worried about. Now, um, you've been using the internet to get information about earth…"

"Oh, yes, Google maps are very useful."

"Um…have you ever run across…uh…" Bumblebee had never known Maggie to be this circumspect.

"Maggie? Are you alright?" He asked innocently.

"Well, have you ever used Google _without_ safe search on?"

"Oh, no! If it's not on I always end up with spyware problems."

"Ah. Well, I really need to go," she said quickly.

"But Maggie-!"

"Bye!" The line cut off. Well, there was nothing for it. Bumblebee had really not wanted to call Sam, but his only other option was Optimus Prime, and _he_ always insisted on calling Defense Secretary Keller for everything. Maybe it would come to that, but first he would try to solve this on his own. At least now Judy was off of her husband's airway. Now to just call Optimus-

Bumblebee's comm chirped. The identifying signature was from a former S7 office that was being absorbed into the Department of Homeland Security.

"Bumblebee here," he answered, wondering who could be calling him.

"Hi Bumblebee, this is agent Banachek. We just received notification of a higher than usual call-volume on your frequency. Is everything alright?"

"I don't know, Agent Banachek." Bumblebee said, thankful for once for 'Big Brother' as Mikaela was wont to call the governmental organizations that oversaw the Autobot affairs on Earth. "The Witwickys have been acting very strange, but I haven't been able to determine a cause."

"Acting strange? In what way? -_Simmons, mobilize units 042 and 134_- Tell me everything, Bumblebee."

"Well, Sam and Miles are out mountain biking. Mr. and Mrs. Witwicky were working in the garden for a little while, but then at 1500, they went inside to rehydrate. I-I'm afraid I was lax in my duty, as I allowed my systems to start a recharge cycle."

"That's fine, Bumblebee, continue."

"Then my automatic scans reported some…aggressive language coming from inside the house."

"Aggressive? How so?" Bumblebee was impressed at how even and calm Agent Banachek's tones were.

"Here, I'll patch you in to what my audio sensors are picking up."

Judy Witwicky's voice ordering Ron to submit to her echoed across the commlink. After several exchanges, one of which ended with Ron getting backhanded, Banachek spoke.

"Simmons, cancel the units."

"What? But Agent Banachek-" Bumblebee protested.

"Bumblebee, I understand why you are concerned, but I, uh," For the first time since Bumblebee had met the man, Tom Banachek appeared to not know what to say.

"Agent Banachek?"

"Um, right. I don't think this is a national security issue. I'm sure Mr. Witwicky will be all right."

"But-"

"Good-_bye_, Bumblebee."

The connection went dead.

Once again Bumblebee was left alone. He closed the silent comm channel and opened another, dialing Sam's number, and praying to Primus that Sam was not in a dead spot. After ringing for what seemed like an eternity, Sam answered.

"Hello, 'Bee?"

"Sam! Something's the matter with your mother!" Bumblebee could have kicked himself if he wasn't in alt mode. That was no way to open, it would surely send Sam into a panic.

"What? What's happening? I knew I shouldn't have gone out with Barricade still on the loose-" Sam said breathlessly. "-no Miles, just a min, something's wrong at home-" there was the sound of mountain bike tires on dirt "I'm almost an hour away! What's happening, you've gotta help my mom, 'Bee!" Sam's voice went up an octave in distress.

"She's acting very strange, she, she started yelling…and then…hit your father."

"_WHAT_!"

Bumblebee decided to just give Sam the facts. "They were out in the garden, and when they went in to cool off, I decided to get some recharge. Then my scans indicated raised voices. Your mother started yelling about your father walking through some flowers, and then hit him with a hairbrush."

"Bee, that's not like Mom at all, she can get intense sometimes, but she'd _never_ hit dad, you've gotta do something -shut _up_ Miles- if someone's trying to get back at me through my family, I'm gonna have to move 'Bee!"

Interrupting Sam's hysterical babble, Bumblebee said, "I haven't been able to find any outside influences that could have your mother acting this way. After she hit your father, she handcuffed him, and then sat-"

"Wait. Wait. _Handcuffs?_ Miles, be quiet I'm trying to listen-" Sam said breathlessly. "Uh, where are they?"

"In the house, Sam! They haven't left it! Oh, no," Bumblebee had turned on his passive heat sensors so that his scanning wouldn't interrupt the cell phone signal. "Sam, she has a _whip_!" The stunned Autobot could see that Ron Witwicky's delicate human skin was incredibly hot and flushed where Judy was striking him. That had to be incredibly painful. "And I'm certain she was trying to kill him before! She was sitting on his face-"

Sam groaned. "Bumblebee, are…are they in their room?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with it?"

"…"

Bumblebee was growing very tired of these long silences. "Sam? Why does their position in the house make any difference? Optimus has always said that sapient life has rights which are never conditional to their environment, and both Mikaela and Maggie said-"

"You…you called Mikaela?" Sam interrupted weakly. "And _Maggie_? 'Bee, how could you do that to me!"

Very hurt at Sam's angry words, Bumblebee answered, "Well, I didn't want to worry you on your bike ride if someone else who was closer could help-" Bumblebee was startled by a new development in the bedroom. "Sam! Sam! They're both yelling now! It looks like your mother is…is shaking him, I think! She's being really violent! They're both going up and down, and their core temperatures are way outside the norm for humans-"

Sam groaned again. "Bumblebee. Shut up, just shut up!" Bumblebee fell quiet. Sam had never spoken to him that way, even at his most irate. "Ok, Ok, just listen to me." Sam took a few deep breaths. "There's nothing to worry about. Do not call anyone else, _please_, for the love of God."

"Sam, I'm very sorry to have upset you, I just thought-"

"I know, I know you didn't mean anything by it. It's just…um…look, I'm going to finish my bike ride, and try to forget that any of this happened, and that the two hottest women I know now know something incredibly embarrassing about me. Do not mention this to Mom and Dad. And…if you're really curious about what's going on, look up 'fetish' on Wikipedia, OK?" Sam seemed to be calming down, though Bumblebee could tell that he was still angry.

"Alright, Sam," he said meekly. "I'm really sorry."

"It's OK, 'Bee, I know you didn't know any better. I'll see you tonight." The call cut off.

'Bee's next scan of the house revealed things to have calmed down somewhat. Both Judy and Ron were lying in bed, and Judy seemed to have been mollified enough to take off the handcuffs. Their temperatures were slowly but surely dropping to normal. Deciding to take Sam's advice, Bumblebee looked up 'fetish'.

From there, he ended up following a link to "BDSM", and then to "Berkley Horse" and from there to "Dominatrix". That eventually ended up with him going offsite and once again ending up with malware trying to work its way into his programming.

Humans sure were strange creatures, but for all their idiosyncrasies (imagine getting pleasure from receiving pain!) Bumblebee found them delightful. He couldn't wait to share his newfound knowledge with the other Autobots.


End file.
